So who is my client?
Oh, you are my client.
We'll be so suppliant today.

I've read through the brief,
The carnage and grief,
And for swift relief we should pray.

They have an eye-witness
A clerk in the business
Who saw through the mask and the gun.

A friend of your neighbour's.
For whom you've done favours,
And shared in some barbecue fun.

They've dusted the till.
Your prints on it still.
Like those from your last B and E.

And leaving the shop,
Oh why did you stop
To grin at their in-house TV?

Once out on the street,
What luck had you meet
A school-mate who noticed the pouch?

Bold faced and secure,
What made you so sure
He'd missed the shop's name on it- Ouch!

Around the next block
Your chum had his talk
With lawman now hailed to the scene.

You stayed on that street
A rare ringside seat.
You should have put mileage between.

Then tired of such fun,
You started to run,
And lawman took note of your flight.

And taxi-cab fare
Took you right to where
The cruiser came later that night.

I'll try to be straight
Your prospects aren't great.
I think we should deal for a plea.

I have expertise
To bargain on these.
Oh, why won't you listen to me?

I wish it weren't so.
You could let me go.
And turn to that man with the rings.

Yes, that one right there
With all the blond hair,
Big brief-case and braggarty things.

Oh he's a sharp lawyer.
A witness destroyer.
An eagle come down from his perch.

I'll give him your file.
And in a short while,
I'll be at my next title search.

(Picture: John Mortimer of Rumpole fame)


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