Some Light on Intense Darkness
“Every now and then (nay, daily) and with differing intensities and durations a little voice goes off that says you are not going to have ANY joy today. You are worthless, phony, weak, fearful and alone. You will probably someday end your miserable life and no one will miss you. Not family, friends, neighbours or workmates. You are pathetic.”
Landsberg relates that the last really serious defeat in this occurred 3 years ago and in the midst of apparent media success.
The man appears commonly spoken, sometimes profane, audacious, arrogant (he threw out that word) and jocular. He denied that he was in any way courageous or brilliant in coming out to the public with his very real and unending affliction. There are drugs, diet and exercise changes, therapy, dialogue and loving relationships, but the little nagging questions continually are asked in the subconscious. He had another smaller bout on a recent family trip to Las Vegas. But a healthy internal confession, supportive companions and acceptance got him through.
Imagine him confessing these oddities to family members, workmates or employment superiors.
Well, he very skillfully and compassionately shared the package and its trials and victories with a convention room of nearly 1200 occupational health and safety professionals who were impacted BIG TIME.
I found 4 words going through my consciousness as Michael spoke. Two bad. Two good. ‘Alienation. Contradiction. Affirmation. Engagement.’ The speaker had dwelt on these. Not through courage or brilliance, but through a compulsion to testify in sincerity, truth and goodwill. Hopefully helping to produce a kinder and more understanding community.
He is continually spurred on by conversations within his profession and internet dialogue with sufferers coming out of the darkness and abandonment. He is being heard. Bravo Michael!