Saturday, October 3, 2015
Who Is a Listener?
Last month my wife and I marked our 41st anniversary. Two children bringing us much joy. Several careers, in both white collar and blue. A number of delightful holiday trips abroad. A personal bankruptcy from a business failure. A falling out with parents and a reconciliation. A number of prayerful journeys through dark valleys. A strong confidence in mutual support, in the Word of God, in the extraordinary hold of Jesus upon our hearts.
But then there is this mental illness thing. Of at least 19 years' duration. Three extended trips to a psychiatric ward. Critical decisions made about appropriate meds. In ways we both suffer this illness. Acquaintances do not know how they might help or encourage. They disappear, understandably.
And resort MUST be made to Jesus. Not asking for a healing. Just a means to further His will. One day my wife will be well.
If you have a moment consider a prayer entry of today. Not for sympathy but for illumination to an increasing reality faced by many:
October 3, 2015
Lord, my wife’s symptoms are drawing her into more seclusion and suspicion. It is as if all people around her are speaking in voices of slander, belittlement and lewdness. And they are not speaking at all. Nevertheless to Hilary they are “witches, warlocks and psychics” intending to interfere with ‘her special ministry as New Testament prophetess’. She prays by the hour in our living room; in the parking lots; no friends; no work or volunteer activity; no hobbies. She pulls the wool over her overworked psychiatrist’s eyes. She calls me enemy about half of our days because I do not affirm her delusions, and because I insist on the drugs, and because I seem to get along with many of her ‘enemies out there’. I remember a happy couple united in 1974, cherishing one another with much adventure ahead. This morning her second sentence to me was “You are such a bastard”. Today I also re-posted the poem “Conundrum”. I am taking the day off and away.